She texted him so much…

Has this ever happened to you? When you’ve been going out with someone for a while, they don’t answer your text and it makes you CRAZY. You try to relax and focus on something else, but your imagination goes wild. You find yourself accusing the person you love of things they would never do. This can be so damaging, drama producing and hurtful, your partner might decide it’s just not worth it and walk away.


That’s what has happened to a client of mine. She and her partner had been going out for over a year. They really enjoyed being together, and were talking about moving in since they loved each other and were both “clean freaks”.


But no matter what her boyfriend said or did, he couldn’t stop her from being so emotionally needy. When they were away from each other, she would check on him over text. Most of the time things were fine. But the times he wouldn’t get back to her were excruciating.


She would get emotionally wound up and insecure, and start texting up a storm. He got fed up with her neediness and unending emotional demands and finally left. The pain of knowing she had done this to herself, and feeling so out of control is what got her to reach out for help. It’s how she found me.


She was still getting through the grief and loss of the relationship.  As hard as that is, it wasn’t the most important part for her to work on.  The most important part was recognizing it wasn’t her boyfriend that caused the break up. It was the hurt and loss she had as a girl being rejected and abandoned by her dad.



  • Past hurts magnify emotional neediness
  • Feelings of insecurity
  • Selecting partners that abandon or abuse you
  • Sabotaging or feeling bored in stable healthy relationships
  • Feeling hopeless about ever having a stable relationship

To the ego, it is a vicious cycle. Emotionally and spiritually, though, a break up is a powerful opportunity to bring healing to these old wounds.



  1. Have you experienced the same frustrations with multiple partners, giving you a clue it might not be all their fault, but a bit about you?
  2. Do you repeatedly have emotional responses that are more intense than what the situation calls for? A missed text is annoying, but is it driving you to distraction, drama, anger or tears?
  3. Do you regularly do things you later regret and wish you could have stopped yourself?
  4. Do you feel hopeless or discouraged about being able to making a relationship work?


If you could honestly answer the questions above, you have an exceptional level of awareness about yourself. Gaining awareness is the trickiest part about these patterns. Once you see what’s going on, healing and updating your patterns is easy, and can feel like magic. You can put the past behind you, feel secure and loved, and show up fully in your next relationship. He’ll love you even more for having done it.


The good news is you are not alone, and it isn’t hopeless. I have guided many clients through updating and healing past hurts with their fathers who have healed these patterns and found lasting love.


If you are struggling with your patterns in relationships, I’d love to help.  You can click here to let me know what’s going on for you, and set up a time for us to connect.

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